IS IT FULL MOON?

Yesterday, whilst I was whiling away the time tidying up shelves and humming tunelessly to myself ( its been a quiet weekend ), a tiny lady waltzed into my shop, took the top off every jar which contained soap, sniffed the contents of each and then barked at me........

"Do you have any soap that doesn't contain Sodium Lauryl Sulphate?"

I was a touch miffed by her attitude so responded............

"No they are all brimming with it!"

In the hope she would go away as quickly as she had appeared. She completely ignored my response and went straight into a long lecture about the Illuminati and how they have plans to change the world, barely drawing breath between sentences. I was so surprised (and you'd think I'd be used to strange behaviour by now) that, unusually for me, I didn't interrupt for what seemed like minutes but eventually, wincing with embarrassment and sheer irritation, I butted in and said that she might like to draw breath and smell the restraining order coming her way!

She took no notice so I edged her towards the doorway, by which time she was onto Walt Disney and telling me that he was a pervert and that if I looked carefully and had any sense at all, I would realise that all characters in Disney films were evil!

"What even Bambi?" I blurted "Never. You got that wrong, Bambi could never have been evil - you should go and see Charlie in the Rock Shop - he has some strong views on the subject you might be interested in."

To which she turned tail and strode off to Charlie's Rock Shop, still muttering about Walt Disney.

Charlie thanked me later but asked if I could refrain from pointing any other customers in his direction.

I wonder why I didn't think of this tactic before - it worked really well and did make me laugh.